articles and tutorials BDSM Mix Pain, punishment and torment in BDSM
Shaving can be a very nervous thought for beginning submissives. In this article I will discuss grooming as ownership and punishment for female and male submissives. Submissives of both genders can be shaved. Male submissives might even find this more of a brand than female submissives. (although I suggest trimming)
Why should a submissive shave?
There are two simple reasons for this in the bdsm realm: ownership and punishment. Both can be fullfilling and good ideas.
Punishment is not often thought of in process with shaving the pubic hairs, but let me demonstrate a point. Say your submissive has done something you do not approve of. The Dominant could give her a spanking she will feel for a day at most. Or you can give her a 2 week long punishment. Feeling the very shrap prickling agony as the hairs grow in and not being able to wear underwear is quite a punishment indeed. This is a heavy punishment because it can last up to 2 weeks painfully until the hairs agree to soften.
Ownership is the main reason the pubic hair is shaved in a D/s relationship. The submissive loses the last covering on their body that conceals their private parts to the Dominant. This is more ritualistic and can be added to a couple's rituals quite easily. The submissive may be able to use special items just for this time. She may be able to use expensive soaps and creams during this ritual. It is all about making the ritual more special.
Pros and Cons on Shaving
Doms before immediately ordering your submissive to shave. Consider these Pros and Cons of shaving.
Con: Hair growing out is prickly and frankly a bitch.
Con: People who are allergic and react to some shaving creams: This area seems to have heightened sensitivity. Sensitive skin shaving creams and hypoallergenic mouterizers are out there though :)
Pro: There is a heightened sensitivity when you first shave. The sexual benifits are verrrrrry nice :)
Pro: Most Dominants agree they like to give oral sex more when the submissive is shaven.
Pro: When the hair grows back it is a nice way of reminding your submissive of their ownership.
The How-to of Grooming 'Down Under'
Shaving can be a nervous task for submissives and Dominants. Many Dominants prefer to shave their Dominants, if you are one of these I do suggest you watch your Dominant once before you attempt this for both of your safety. :)
I really suggest male submissives trim instead of shave because of the naturally thick and burly growth. Also because a bit looks sexy ;) This shaving section will be dedicated more towards female submissives.
1. If you have long hair with some sharp scissors trim very closely to your skin. It is good to lay out on a towel and do this. It may take several passes, but definately worth the effort.
2. Take a warm shower or bath. If for ownership make this a pleasurable expierence. Use bath salts or oils and foamy rich bubblebath.
3. It's time for shaving cream. Picking a good shaving cream is very important. I suggest using one for sensitive skin with lots of conditioners. Another good ingredient in shaving cream is menthol. More men shaving creams than women's come with menthol. Getting a male shaving cream is worth it ladies! Menthol shaving creams leave the area feeling fresh and tingly. Definately a great sensation!
4. Let the shaving cream rest on your pubic hair for a while to soften the hairs. Lather and cover all the areas with pubic hair.
5. Now to the razors. I seriously suggest you invest in a great razor. Disposables are not the answer :) One with removable blades, one with a pivoting head, one with 2 blades... a damn good razor. I use the dual-bladed Schick Skintimate razor and I love it.
6. Shaving the pubic hair is a lot like shaving a man's chin. The hairs are about as coarse and the angle is about right for the hood curve to the clit region. A lot of women have a tendency for shaving the hood or mound with an upward strokes. WRONG!
7. The simple trick of shaving is: stroke an area no more than twice to reduce skin irritation. On the first stroke, go "with the grain" to remove most of the hair, then go "against the grain" for a smooth, close shave. Always reapply shaving cream to the area if there is none and you want to do another pass over.
8. The mound is usually the hardest part to shave, and it is prone to razor burn. Shave downward once or twice and then shave upward towards your stomach the third time to shave the area well.
9. Wash off with soap and water. It is nice to soak for a while in the bathtub to relax the hairs.
Aftercare on Shaving
It's probably going to happen that you cut yourself once or twice. Or get a little razor burn. So here are some good tips on looking after yourself.
If your skin feels raw or your have razor burn try Nozema skin cream. A submissive recommended it to me and I really enjoy it, it has a nice tingly feeling ;)
Some people find daily applying baby powder or talcum powder especially helpful after shaving to keep the area dry and irritation-free.
Even if you don't bathe everyday it is good to clean yourself with a wet washcloth and then use talcum powder to reduce oil buildup
It is good to go pretty long between shavings to reduce irritation. Once a week is usually a good rule of thumb for shaving 'down under'.
Quick review and hints
It is good to make this event a ritual. The Dom/me inspecting the area is another nice ritual.
Invest in a good razor and shaving cream. You will be thankful you did.
Menthol shaving creams and Nozema skin cream can really create some nice sensations for the submissive when shaving.