Pain, punishment and torment in BDSM

Why Punish?

To me punishment is an essential component of a D/s lifestyle. Punishment is used to enforce the standards of my house, to correct failures in etiquette, but the most important aspect of punishment is that it shows that you care. Punishment should ultimately be a fulfilling act for both the Dom and the sub. When punishing ones sub A Dom must express both their displeasure and their love. Towards this end a beginning Dom needs to learn what their sub expects in the ways of punishment.

Perhaps one of the first steps is for the Dom too let go of their prejudices towards punishment. Such prejudices would likely take one of two forms. Either towards certain punishments that one has fantasized about or against those causing pains to a loved one. In the first case a Dom will tend towards achieving a fantasy life which their partner may not enjoy.

The best cure (and easier said than done) is to eagerly experiment with new forms and techniques of punishment. For the later case the new Dom must work themselves into the role, learning that some pains are acceptable, and that a sub not only anticipates the pain but expects it. All Doms must understand that pain (sweat or not) is an integral part of the relationship, and that the sub will need it in order to learn and grow in the relationship.

When working with a new sub the Dom must take the time to learn about their sub. The relationship is built on trust and communication therefore the Dom must trust their sub to use stop and slow words to communicate a negative reaction to what they are doing. Rules and expected behavior should be clearly communicated between Dom and sub to avoid any confusion. Only then can punishments be justly applied to the sub. After the sub has offended it is the Doms responsibility to make sure the punishment is suitable for the offense.

It is important to remember that you are the Dom, and your word is law. Your sub expects you to take firm care of her and not let her stray. Your sub expects you to enforce your rules consistently and with little exception. Most importantly though, To be a Dom means that you are entrusted with the care of your sub. your sub trusts you to make them better. Better spiritually, emotionally, and physically. You must be the center to her world and use punishment to ensure that she never loses her course and remains devoted and attentive to your bond.

Punishments and Rewards
Pain Processing and Breathwork
Teasing and tormenting breasts and nipples
Discipline, humilation and punishment ideas for him 2 3
Electro-Torture in femdom: Violet Wand and TENS Unit
Tickling and female domination
Trampling and Stomping domination
Face slapping physical humiliation
Spitting femdom humilation techniques
Pleasurable and Punitive Pain in femdom
Elemental Torture: Trial by Fire
Wartenburg Wheel and female domination
Ice and BDSM, Temperature Play
Hot & Cold sub punishment
Breath Control in BDSM, choking, breath play
Wooden Pony (Japanese Horse) BDSM torture device
Masochism as Punishment and Reward
Stinging Nettles in BDSM
Wax Play in BDSM
Shaving punishment for female and male submissives

Shaving can be a scary and daunting task for a submissive. Here are some great tips, how-tos, background info and much more on the task. Make shaving a very sensual and enjoyable ritual for both Dom and sub.

Wine Enemas

Wine can be used as an enema solution but safety must be paramount.

Torture and torment

The act of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment, to force their acquiescence, or for the torturers sadistic pleasure. Torture has a long and ignoble history, involving both states and individuals. At times in the past it has formed part of the official legal process and more recently it has been widely used by armies and police forces as a clandestine instrument of repression and control. You don't have to look hard to find recent examples of torture being used by the army or police forces of most countries, including sadly the USA and Great Britain. Some organisations, like Amnesty International, do marvellous work in documenting and fighting against state-sponsored torture and other violations of human rights. They're the really good guys. As with much else in BDSM, what diffentiates torture in our context from abuse elswhere is the willing consent of the 'victim'. In BDSM the word torture is usually used to describe the more severe forms of erotic punishment, although what constitutes 'severe' will vary considerably between individuals. Actions which would be regarded as fiendishly inhumane by some may be experienced as deeply pleasurable by others. It is therefore not possible to be too dogmatic in describing erotic 'torture'. A hard spanking would probably be too much for some people, while having red-hot needles in their genitalia might not be enough for others.